The beginning of a new school year brings Open Houses, Family Fun Days, and meeting lots of new people–new classmates, new teachers, and new families. Any caregiver knows that kids have lots of questions, especially about people who appear “different” than them in any apparent way. These questions from children present an opportunity to explain that there is not just one way to be a family. Here are some sample questions and responses that may be useful for future conversations.
Q: “Why is Anthony black, and his parents are white?”
A: “There are many reasons children may have different skin colors than their parents. Some children are adopted by people of another race, and some children have parents of different races. People have different hair types, skin, heights, shapes, and sizes. People don’t have to match to be a family!”
Q: “Why does Emilia live with her grandma instead of her mom and dad?”
A: “Sometimes parents are in the military or have to travel for work. Some parents may have health problems or cannot take care of their children for different reasons. In many families, grandparents, parents, and children live together in one house.”
Q: “My classmate has two dads instead of a mom and a dad. Which one is his real dad?”
A: “They both are. Both dads take care of the children and love them. Some families have two dads or two moms or one mom or one dad. Every family is unique, and every person in them is “real!”
Q: “My teacher has a picture behind her desk of her with another girl, and she said it is her wife. Why doesn’t she have a husband?”
A: “That’s a great question. I’m wondering why you asked. Just like anyone else, she must have fallen in love with a person and wants to spend her life with her.”
Being prepared to discuss race and LGBTQ+ relationships will make potential conversations flow easily. The Human Rights Campaign has lots of information regarding educating your children and respecting all families. To learn more, please visit “Yes, They Are a Family!”
Recommended Resources
Tip Sheet
From the Resource Library
- Inside Transracial Adoption, by Gail Steinberg & Beth Hall
- The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant, by Dan Savage
- Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood: Firsthand Advice, Tips and Stories from Lesbian and Gay Couples, by Eric Rosswood
- Partners Newsletter: Exploring Culture
- Sometimes It’s Grandmas and Grandpas: Not Mommies and Daddies, by Gayle Byrne